I recently found out about this great concept called the Gender bread Person.
It helps folks understand other areas of the spectrum without too much detail. The creator Sam Killermann continues to make the point:
They (gender identity, gender expression, biological gender, and sexual orientation) are all independent of one another.
They (gender identity, gender expression, biological gender, and sexual orientation) are all independent of one another.
Essentially, just because a biological male expresses his more feminine side, does not automatically determine that he likes men. The logic of “if, then” goes out of the window when it comes to a human being because we are all much more complex than a simple formula.
Personally, I know it’s so much easier to look at a person and determine their sexuality, identity, self-expression, and biological gender just by looking at them. In reality, I know I’m clueless of the type of partner (or partners they’re looking for), whether they were comfortable in the clothes I saw them in, “what’s in their pants”, or how they view themselves.
Personally, I know it’s so much easier to look at a person and determine their sexuality, identity, self-expression, and biological gender just by looking at them. In reality, I know I’m clueless of the type of partner (or partners they’re looking for), whether they were comfortable in the clothes I saw them in, “what’s in their pants”, or how they view themselves.
We can blame media as much as we want, but members within the LGBT community reinforce these stereotypes by spreading the stereotypes to unknowing onlookers or those who have recently discovered themselves. It helps but hurts at the same time.One could say for the most part these stereotypes are true, but one must look out for the unique members within our community: the straight masculine females, the FTM (Female to Male) who are attracted to men, and other combinations we may not automatically think of.
People who see me may automatically assume the following:
· gender identity: male/female (depends on the observer)
· gender expression: masculine
· Biological gender: female (?)
· sexual orientation: totally gay (lesbian, but yeah)
I enjoy making people use their own intelligence to try and figure it out, maybe they’ll realize that no one thing can determine a person’s entire life. (I.e. “she’s attracted to females because she was abused by a male in her past”; “he’s a mama’s boy, he’s probably gay”).
· gender identity: male/female (depends on the observer)
· gender expression: masculine
· Biological gender: female (?)
· sexual orientation: totally gay (lesbian, but yeah)
I enjoy making people use their own intelligence to try and figure it out, maybe they’ll realize that no one thing can determine a person’s entire life. (I.e. “she’s attracted to females because she was abused by a male in her past”; “he’s a mama’s boy, he’s probably gay”).
But do you want to know what I’d much rather prefer?
Someone ask me; not assume everything.
Maybe asking “hey are you gay or nah?” isn’t the right approach (whether you’re not comfortable posing the question or the setting you’re in). Instead you could initiate a conversation, get to know the person. Then, they may mention a partner, significant other, or just tell you where they stand.
All folks of the LGBT crew may not feel this way, but you never know until you ask.
Someone ask me; not assume everything.
Maybe asking “hey are you gay or nah?” isn’t the right approach (whether you’re not comfortable posing the question or the setting you’re in). Instead you could initiate a conversation, get to know the person. Then, they may mention a partner, significant other, or just tell you where they stand.
All folks of the LGBT crew may not feel this way, but you never know until you ask.